Category: Uncategorized

40 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE

I turned 40 today.

Know what I’m doing for my birthday? Laundry. I’m doing laundry.

I woke up like every other morning, thanked God for the day, gave our almost 1 year old son a bottle and snuggles, changed a dirty diaper and then stumbled into the kitchen to start breakfast.

After my breakfast of eggs and bacon and my son’s of egg and waffle, I put a load of towels in the washer and finished off the store bought banana pudding in the fridge. I have no plans to do anything special today. I don’t even plan to take a shower and get dressed. I have plans to finish laundry and get some cleaning done today. That’s my 40.

I remember turning 30 and thinking, “Well, this isn’t so bad,” and then a few days later my body started aching and hurting in ways it never had. The good thing about 40 is I feel the same today as I did yesterday.

I set a goal when I turned 37 to be in the best possible physical health by the time I was 40. I’m not exactly where I want to be, but at 37, that plan did not involve becoming pregnant at 38, giving birth at 39 and spending the past year not sleeping taking care of our son. He turns one in a couple weeks on the 24th. Me, my husband and our son all have February birthdays so this is, and will always be going forward, a celebratory month.

As a little girl, I had this dream that when I grow up I was going to be married, live in a 3 story house (blue with white shutters), white picket fenced in yard, the greenest grass one has ever seen, a white dog house with shingle roof and a big happy dog, two kids – twins – a boy and a girl named Alexander and Alexandria, the sun would always shine and a light breeze constantly blowing across the yard moving the tire swing ever so gently that hung from the single giant shade tree in the yard. I may be living in alternate universe now but some of those things came true in their own way…

In my teens, 40 seemed really old to me. For that matter, 21 seemed YEARS away. In my late teens and early 20’s however, the way my life was going, I never thought much of 40 because I honestly didn’t know if I would make it that far. My life was a mess and I had a hard time seeing past the end of my nose let alone what was in my future.

I was 28 when I rededicated my life to Christ and then later that year got married. There’s been a lot of work put in these past 12 years to get where I am mentally and spiritually. I have two college degrees (Bachelors in Science and Associates in Theology) and I’m a licensed insurance agent. I had accomplished things in my professional career by the time I was 35 that most aim to accomplish by retirement.

I was told in my early 20’s that I could, more than likely, never have kids. Well, ha! At 38, fresh out of work because the company I was Vice President of closed unexpectedly, I found myself pregnant. I did the math. Pregnant while I’m 38, give birth at 39 and have an almost 1 year old at 40.

I see how God carefully orchestrated all of this now. He knows me so well. At age 38 I had already had my career and accomplished much. I knew a big change was coming and could feel it in my spirit, but no clue just how much and what kind of change. I never thought I would switch gears to stay at home and take care of our son. My husband never thought he would be the sole provider financially in our household. The last three years have turned our lives upside down and inside out.

I was leaning towards switching careers at the time. I was wanting to pursue my life long dream of becoming a published author but I had no clue how to do that. Bills loomed and time was short. We thought I would go back to work once our son was born but one look at his face and I knew I could not entrust his care and the majority of his raising to a daycare facility. So, we put our faith in God.

This past year has been extremely financially difficult. Three different times they were coming to take our cars. But God. Many bills have gone unpaid and to debt collectors, but we are still believing God. We live in the same small (like 700 square feet), 2 bedroom house (where one bedroom is storage because there is no room for the stuff any where else) we were hoping to be out of years ago and have had to get very creative as to how to raise a baby, now almost a toddler, in such tight spaces. But God. There were days I had two notches of gas in the tank and no income soon enough to put any more gas in there. But God. Our son had digestive issues and required formula that costs $40 a can and going thru 2 to 2.5 cans a week. But God. There were days I opened the refrigerator door and there were pretty much just condiments hanging out in there. But God. Somehow, even without me working, we owed on taxes last year. But God. We used up every bit of savings and retirement to our name to survive the past year and a half. But God. Every day it has taken faith. Every day it has taken trusting God. Every day. Every minute. Every second.

Health wise it’s been difficult. Two different times for long lengths of time, my lower back went out to the point I found myself stuck in the floor, one time unable to move, with a 5 month old to care for (my husband was out of town at the time). I was dealing with bronchitis for a couple of months after an upper respiratory infection, healing from another one right now. Sleeping patterns have been all over the place with a colicky newborn with reflux issues. Almost a year and we finally get full nights of sleep on most nights.

We still aren’t completely back on our feet but getting there. God always provides. He always makes a way. Although, I did have many dark moments over the past year. I had many candid conversations with God because I had a hard time understanding how he could send a child into our lives and everything else seemed to fall apart. I was tired and pushed further than I ever thought I could be pushed. There were days the only thing that got me out of bed was my responsibilities as a new mother. I had no idea what I was doing other than putting one foot in front of the other. Some days are still just that.

We never shared openly, specifically, how difficult things had become and I’m debating right now as I type this if it’s too soon to be sharing now. I don’t believe so though. I believe someone needs some encouragement. I look back over the past two years and see how God provided and how our situation actually strengthened our faith and trust in Him. It has by no means been an easy road to walk but there is a purpose in it.

We are in the beginning stages of establishing a ministry God put on our hearts years ago. In this, we MUST rely on Him 100%, no wavering. These past couple of years have conditioned us to do just that. What satan meant for harm, God made good on. Those times when the refrigerator was empty, someone would buy us groceries not knowing how empty it was. The times the gas gauge was bouncing on “E” when we hit the church parking lot, someone would put a gas gift card in our hand after service. It was what got us home from church on more than one occasion. Our son has never went without his formula, or clothes that fit, or wipes to clean him or diapers to keep him dry, or toys to help him learn. We haven’t gone without. Because God.

This is nothing like I imagined my life at 40 to be like but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I am nothing without God. I am nothing without Jesus. I don’t know if I have cried more this year in frustration at our situation or in the times when God showed up and showed out.

He put a Word in my heart at the end of 2018 that the best is yet to come. I don’t doubt. We have a lot of kingdom work ahead of us to care for the ministry that He has entrusted to us. I don’t believe I will ever go back to my previous career or a regular 9-5 job. I know I’m called to be the best mother I can to our son and raise him in the way he should go. We plan to homeschool as well. The ministry is a big undertaking and I am still whittling away on my first full book and pursuing that dream which will come to pass.

I’ve heard it said by a believer I respect that you should always be talking about 3 things, not necessarily with these exact words: what you’ve accomplished, what you are working on accomplishing, what you are going to accomplish.

I’ve accomplished quite a bit in my short 40 years here on earth. I’ve overcome sexual abuse and addictions, I’ve obtained two degrees, landed the best husband I could ever ask for, I’ve won design awards, survived losing my dad, worked my way up to Vice-President of a company, I’ve published four Bible workbooks and a poetry collection, I’ve birthed the most beautiful baby boy. I’ve kept my faith.

I’m working on finishing a 365 day devotional as well as my first book based on my life testimony and we are working on establishing our Unreachables ministry to reach a niche of people who are overlooked and let them know they are loved too.

Finally, what do I hope to accomplish? I have a new short term goal of being in the best possible health by my next birthday. I plan to finish up the book and start on the next along with publishing the devotional. We hope to be traveling for ministry with speaking engagements in a few years. We are believing to be in a spacious house for our son to grow up in and a fenced in yard so he can get a dog, soon. We plan to be debt free and financially able to sow into more ministries that we are in agreement with to help further the kingdom of God. Those are just a few things.

So, 40. Let’s do this. The best is yet to come.

 

Philippians 4:19

But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

FEBRUARY CHALLENGE

Around eight or nine years ago, my husband and I ditched cable.

When we first cancelled the cable, we went a few months without internet as well. We had just moved into our place and were in a financial situation where that money was best spent elsewhere.

It was strange to not have the television on in the background constantly when we were home. It was quiet. We weren’t sure what to do – stare at each other? Have lengthy conversations? It honestly took a couple of months to get used to it.

After five or six months, we had the internet turned on and subscribed to Netflix. We now have Netflix, Hulu, Amazone Prime and all the internet has to offer. We can pretty much watch what we want, when we want.

I realized something as we incorporated this type of entertainment back into our lives. We had to choose what to watch. There wasn’t just this big screen playing whatever was on the channel it was last turned to. We had to actively choose what to watch. I started to think about the things I put before my eyes. I felt conviction (not condemnation) over shows that I had watched for years and the type of images and information that I was absorbing through them. I started to question if I really needed to be watching certain things.

I would be sitting in a waiting room at the doctor or the dentist office and I couldn’t believe the things that were being discussed on TV during hours that young children would be playing in their living rooms as moms and dads went on about their day. I was shocked. I was appalled. I was saddened. This is the garbage I had been feeding on for so many years? How did I not see it before? How was I not aware?

DESENSITIZATION. 

That’s how. I had become used to it. It had become common to me. It wasn’t until I went without seeing and hearing those things on a regular basis that I realized what I was really feeding on.

Now, we have an almost one year old and since he was born, I have become hyper aware of what is on our television when he is in the room or what is on the radio in the car. I’ve taken to pretty much only listening to the Christian radio station so that is not an issue so much. What about that 20 minutes in a doctor’s waiting room where a daily talk show is on and they are speaking of things way too mature for his ears and eyes? In all honesty, from the few things I have seen in waiting rooms or Facebook videos of clips from current talk shows, they discuss things that really shouldn’t be in front of my eyes or in my ears either.

There are even cartoons that I will turn off because of imagery or words that I don’t find appropriate for him. He’s not sitting in front of a screen 24/7 by any means but the time we do allow for a cartoon, we (me and my husband) are responsible for what he sees and hears. I grew up on Sesame Street and was shocked to see a few skits where they pulled politics in. Really? Does a child within the age range of who would watch such a show need to be introduced to politics even if it is done with humor?

We want to raise our child to be a light wherever he goes. We want him to choose to see the good in people. We want him to make a difference in this world. These are his formative years and we are responsible for what he sees and hears. He will eventually know and see the harsh realities of the world. Our prayer and hope is that he sees them through the light of the Word.

As grown adults, we are also responsible for what we see and hear and more importantly how we react to it. Most of us mindlessly scroll through Facebook the way we used to flip through channels. Since I’ve been thinking about this, I’ve taken notice of a lot of negativity. Memes that are meant to be funny but in now way enrich my life. People who are constantly posting negative, derogatory words.

Proverbs 18:21 (KJV) tells us Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

If we take this as seriously as we should, we would see these things that seem silly really do affect our thoughts which is where life and death begin. What we think we speak and what we speak we reap.

Proverbs 23:7 (KJV) For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee.

Luke 6:45 (KJV) A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.

 

I challenge you, for the month of February, turn the television off. Listen to music or messages that are edifying, uplifting, empowering. No main stream music. No television, not even your favorite shows.  No social media (Facebook/Instagram/etc). Give it 28 days, not even a full 30, just 28 days and then see what you think when you go back to those things. If you don’t think you can handle 28 days, give it one week. Even a full seven days will show you the negativity you feed on when you go back to it.

Detox your mind from the world and its influence. Renew your mind as Romans 12:2 says. People say they feel far from God but it’s because they are closer to the world and not willing to get away from it for a length of time to allow Him in.

Romans 12:2 (KJV) And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Get blessed.

New Year, Same God

It’s a New Year! But God is still the same God!

I’m happier about that than I am to see 2018 behind us and I’m pretty happy to see it gone.

Malachi 3:6

For I am the Lord, I change not; therefore ye sons of Jacob are not consumed.

The start of each new year, for the last couple of them, I’ve taken to cleaning out the junk in the house. I use the 40 bags in 40 days method combined with the KonMari method of asking if each thing in our house brings joy. If it doesn’t, it gets sold, donated or tossed. Quite liberating and potentially keeps the clutter to a minimum.

Note: That is as far as I go with her method. I do not thank my house or give honor to inanimate objects. I give God thanks for His provision and thanks to Him only. I figured I would clarify after catching an episode of Tidying Up With Marie Kondo on Netflix.

We had our son at the end of February and let me tell you, baby stuff EVERYWHERE!

We live in a place about 700 square feet. It was a cozy fit for me, my husband, our geriatric chihuahua Spaz, and our three guinea pigs. We had hoped to be in a house before bringing our son home from the hospital but due to a series of unfortunate events, we are still currently making the best of our situation. It’s a whole other story but the last two years have been a roller coaster to say the least.

Well, not only did we have to make room for all the baby stuff and get creative about storage, but I ended up having an emergency C-section along with a colicky child with reflux issues. Lets just say he required a LOT of attention the first six months. We had people offer to come over and help but I always turned them down, for a couple of reasons.

With all the baby stuff now in the house, our place was over crowded and over cluttered. One kitchen wall is lined from floor to ceiling (almost) with boxes of stuff I had to pack up to make room for all the new baby stuff coming in. We weren’t able to even have a regular nursery for him. Instead, we had to clear out our bedroom on my side of the bed to fit a pack n play and shelving for all his clothes. A hanging shoe bag over the bedroom door holds all of his toiletries, towels, wash cloths, etc. I’m telling you, we had to get creative with how to make this work.

I didn’t want anyone over because I was embarrassed at how crowded it was and the fact that the only place we could offer for them to sit was a hard seat dining chair. We have a two person sofa, the kind with a console and two reclining seats that are more like a seat and a half. One seat however is half blocked where I’ve had to push the coffee table against the wall to put up his 8 panel play yard. That’s the only way to keep him safe from the rest of the house, ha!

Another contributing factor is that by college degree, I am an Interior Designer. An award winning one at that. I am no longer in practice other than for my church or other other churches in helping them with design, but you would never know to look at our little home.

God started dealing with me about this however. A good friend kept offering to come over and help with Nicolas and I kept refusing for the reasons stated above. Then, a month or so ago, she was in town and wanted to bring something to me. Usually we would meet up somewhere but I was home this particular day and not dressed to get out and she was already on her way.

I had to release my fear and anxiety over our clutter. Did you know you can have fear and anxiety over such a thing? Yes, yes you can.

I immediately started pointing out the dirty floors, the piled up boxes in the kitchen, apologizing for the hay smell in the living room (we have guinea pigs, they eat hay, they are in the living room)…and she just looked at me and shook her head and said to stop worrying about it. She promised me she wasn’t thinking anything of it and she had clutter at her house too so I shouldn’t be embarrassed by it.

It was difficult for me to let her in that day but I knew I needed to. God was trying to show me something. She is not one to impose either so I knew there was a point to her visit.

Our home is nowhere near being suited for a television show that displays ultimate clutter, except the spare room. That room could be on that show. That room is where things go in the 20 minute clean ups before someone stops by or the landlord has to come over for some reason. The door gets shut and a couple times a year, I tackle it to clean out what we don’t use or need and what doesn’t bring happiness. It stores extra pieces of furniture for when we do move into a house. It stores books that we use occasionally. It stores some childhood memorabilia. It stores arts and crafts. Then throughout the year, it stores randomness from all the other rooms.

As soon as she came in the back door I started saying things like, “Don’t mind the unscrubbed floors. They’re swept, I just didn’t have time to scrub them. And ignore that wall of stuff against the wall, I have nowhere else to store it. At least I did the dishes, ha!”

She just shook her head at me and said something along the lines of she didn’t come over to judge my house. The first ten minutes of our conversation went back and forth like this.

As I sat in the baby jail with my son, she was able to have the one comfortable seat in the house, the unblocked recliner. She ended up staying for a few hours and we had great fellowship. At one point, I told her I knew I needed her to come over that day. I knew God was working on my pride in this event. She just smiled and said (paraphrased), “You know I would never barge in or impose but God told me I had to come over here.”

I won’t reveal what friend this was because she assured me while she was there, her house looked about the same, in efforts to help me be more relaxed about the whole situation. When she left and made it home, she sent me pictures to prove it. That’s what awesome friends do.

This Christmas being our son’s first Christmas, we decided to have my mother-in-law and grandmother-in-law over to our place on Christmas Eve day to celebrate. This meant I had to deep clean and remove the clutter from the rest of the house. Now that he’s almost 10 months, I’ve been able to give away a lot of the newborn items and gadgets and free up some space. Those boxes in the kitchen are still there however because there is nowhere else for them to go. In being able to deep clean and scrub floors and walls and baseboards, a lot was shoved into the already stuffed spare room. The door was shut. Out of sight, out of mind.

Christmas came and with everything being cleaned out and put up, I didn’t mind having people over. It helped that I was able to clear out a packed car load of baby goods a few weeks ago and then another packed car load of stuff to the thrift store.

Every time I walked past that closed door though, I cringed. I even had to go in there at one point while company was over and when I did, I opened the door just enough to squeeze in and squeeze back out in hopes that nobody got a peek of the mess behind it.

Later that day after family left and it was just me, my husband and our son, we sat down to relax and watch A Christmas Story (a long time tradition on Christmas Eve in my family) and I commented on how nice it was to have everything cleaned up and put away and we (me mostly) could relax without feeling guilty about having to do dishes or mop the floor or put clothes away or wash clothes or anything else that I can’t seem to keep up with. Then the spare room popped into my head and I sighed but quickly went back to enjoying the movie and family time.

I realized something in that moment however. Each of us have a junk drawer, a spare room, stuff shoved in a closet or some kind of clutter, big or small, somewhere. There are more of us that do than don’t, and if you are one of those who don’t, tell me your secrets!

Anyways, I started thinking about how many of us put other things, spiritual things, out of sight out of mind. There are areas I need the Holy Spirit to come in and do the work I can’t do on my own. I need to learn how to be better at being patient, I need to forgive quicker, I need to realize the fullness of love that God has for me and for others…I could add more here but you get the point.

These things all kind of get put in that “spare room” just long enough to give the appearance that I’ve got it all together until a situation comes up where I have to squeeze into that room and squeeze back out to deal with it. God knows what is in that spare room at all times. He’s the only one it can’t be hidden from.

Proverbs 5:21 

For the ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord, and he pondereth all his goings.

There is nothing we can hide from God but this shouldn’t be seen as fear mongering, it should be seen as help. He sees and knows everything about us and still loves us. His Word gives us instruction on how to become more like Him and get rid of that clutter in our closets. There’s something about a clean house that allows me to relax and enjoy the time I spend in it. When we let God help us clear the spiritual clutter, we can relax and enjoy our time with Him as well.

Reading the Word of God enables us to see how Christ lived and we can be more like him by following his examples. Making room for the Holy Spirit in our lives brings comfort and help. Praise and worship opens us up to Holy change and we don’t have to limit our praise and worship to Sunday morning or Wednesday night.

Get blessed!

ANGRY WITH GOD

I’ve been angry with God. That’s right, angry with the Almighty. There’s no point in hiding it, He knows.

Well, at least I thought I was angry with Him.

1 Timothy 6:12 says:

Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, whereunto thou art also called, and hast professed a good profession before many witnesses.

I realized today I’ve been frustrated and angry with my own faith.

For a year and a half my husband and I have been believing God for certain things. I can’t go into detail about all of it right now but some of these things are simple things. Every door we thought would open for one thing in particular to come to pass has been slammed shut or nailed shut from the other side before we even arrived at it. It’s been frustrating. Just when we think the situation is about to change, it doesn’t. So we continue on in our faith and belief.

We continue to listen to sermons and read material to encourage our faith walk. We stand on scripture knowing what we have asked for is in line with God’s will. As days, weeks, months and the year and a half has gone by, things seem to have gotten worse.

Yesterday I broke. I was angry. I was frustrated. I was bitter. I was ready to give up and did. I was done. Finished. Towel in hand.

We can’t hide from God so I just let Him have it. I threw my temper tantrum, I questioned our situation based on HIS Word.

“God, we’ve been obedient! We’ve believed! We’ve done what you’ve asked us to do! Those things you asked us to do that we didn’t do, we repented and made right! We’ve prayed! We’ve waited! We’ve listened! Why are we being squeezed into nothing?! Why are you allowing this to happen?! Why?! Why is our situation getting worse and not better?! ”

Fight the good fight of faith. Faith is a fight. I don’t know what round I was in yesterday but I lost that one horribly. It was a KO.

We are in a non stop boxing match when it comes to faith. It’s OUR faith that makes us whole and moves mountains. The Word establishes the rules of the match, the Holy Spirit is our trainer, and God is the referee. Jesus, well, he’s in our corner wiping the blood off our faces and squirting water into our mouths and speaking the words of encouragement we need to hear because he’s already been through it.

Today I woke up and talked to God about yesterday (and the past year and a half).

“God, yesterday I was knocked out. I threw in the towel. I was done. I was spent. I was wore out. It was a silly laptop that pushed me over the edge but everything has been building and pushing me to my breaking point. Today, I’m renewing my mind. I’m continuing the fight. I was knocked out but I know according to your Word, who gets TKO’ed, and it’s not me.”

Faith is a fight. And where I felt defeated yesterday because the latest Windows 10 update destroyed my laptop and rendered it useless, the one tool I had to work on the manuscript God has called me write, the fight isn’t over. It wasn’t just about the laptop. It was about every little punch the enemy has hit us with over the past year. I was tired. I needed a break. I needed to lay in the middle of the ring and not move for a while. I needed time to recuperate.

Guess who came back up swinging? Guess who’s still in my corner? Guess who’s rules still apply? Guess who gets the Total Knock Out when all is said and done.

Keep fighting. Get back up. Swing. Don’t download the latest Windows 10 update.

Learning Curve

Just a heads up.

I am in the process of moving my site from wordpress.com to wordpress.org and self-hosted through Bluehost. Things will look a little different once it’s done and things may be down a while during the time I re-learn this learning curve. There is always the possibility that I’ll lose everything from here too, haha. Praying that doesn’t happen.

As you can probably tell, I’m not good with the lingo but I have no problem learning and saving myself lots of moohlah. I did all of this once before with our main ministry website, www.unreachables.org ,but it’s been a while and I didn’t have a 2 month old in tote while figuring it out.

The website name will stay the same, just re-working everything behind the scenes.

If any of you know of some great tutorials, drop a link in the comments, I would love to check them out!

 

Get Blessed!

Philippians 4:19

But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. 

WHAT A BAG OF POPCORN TAUGHT ME

Many churches teach how to sow (tithe/offering) but not many teach how to reap.

There is this crazy generalized idea among Christians, and judgement by non-Christians that if you ARE a Christian, you should be poor.  Poor in every which way, not just financially.

I’m not one of those. I used to be. I used to think it was a sin to have things, to be happy, to enjoy life. Growing up I saw it all the time, if you were Godly, you were poor.

I don’t know of a single verse in the Bible that says we must be poor, sad or unhappy. I do know plenty of scripture that says we are to have and be just the opposite of all that.

Somewhere along the line, we got it all backwards. I’m not going to post every single verse here but John 10:10 sums it all up:

 The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. John 10:10 KJV

If what you have is destruction, death and things taken from you…Is your joy gone? Is Your happiness gone? Are you struggling financially? That’s the thief, that’s not God.

I know some will read this and try to justify the “lack” in life but you might as well just keep your doubt and unbelief to yourself. You can speak lack over yourself all you want, don’t speak it over someone else.

We have an active role in our faith. Our words determine our today and our tomorrow. You can choose love over hate. Joy over sadness. Prosperity over poverty. Belief over doubt. Health over sickness.

You choose what you have with the words that come out of your mouth. God himself spoke and created…read Genesis 1 and see how many times it says “God said…”

Your words create your today and tomorrow. You can change your future with the words you speak. You can change your moment right now with the words you speak.

So what does this have to do with a bag of popcorn? Let me tell you. Many people have no problem giving, whether it’s tithe/offering or giving to others when they see a need. That’s called sowing. But the majority of us in that category, have a problem when something is given to us. We don’t know how to receive. Receiving is the reaping side of sowing.

We feel guilty or unworthy when something is given to us. We will say things like “No, no, no, give it to someone who needs it more.” It doesn’t matter what “it” is, if we refuse, we interrupt God’s process of sowing and reaping.

I was in the grocery store one time and the Holy Spirit told me to pay for the woman’s groceries in front of me. She didn’t have much, maybe $25.00 worth. I stepped forward and told her, “God told me to pay for your groceries.” She visibly became upset and refused and said “No, I don’t need you to pay for my groceries.” I tried to explain to her that God wanted to bless her but she flat out refused. I said okay with a smile and backed off.

How many times has God wanted to bless us and we have refused? Is it pride? Is it lack of understanding?

I recently blessed a friend with a bag of popcorn at the movies. When I did, the Holy Spirit said to me, “Some people can receive from Me a blessing the size of a bag of popcorn and some can receive a blessing from Me the size of the theater.”

Wow.

When we refuse a blessing from someone, we block the blessing God has for them for their obedience. When that woman refused to let me pay for her groceries, she blocked a blessing God had for me not to mention the blessing of having her groceries paid for.

Think of it this way. If you plant a garden, sow seeds into good ground, then take care of that garden until the harvest comes in and reap from the garden what has grown, you are operating in God’s divine plan of sowing and reaping.

What happens if you plant the seeds and then never pull weeds or better yet, when the harvest comes in, you don’t go and pick all the vegetables? It becomes overgrown and eventually rots. Nobody benefits.

If you take care of that garden and reap when the harvest comes in, not only do you benefit but more than likely, you are going to have an abundance to share with others because if you don’t share your abundance, it rots too.

Your words create action and action produce your today and tomorrow. Read the following verse and focus on the last six words: he shall have whatsoever he saith

For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith. Mark 11:23 KJV

Miracles Still Happen

I haven’t been writing much lately and I miss it. My time however has been consumed with the arrival of our son, Nicolas. He was born February 24th, healthy and whole.

I wasn’t supposed to be able to have kids. I was told in my early 20’s that it would be a miracle if I ever became pregnant. Well, at age 39, our miracle is currently snoozing in my arms.

I may have shared this before but eight years or so ago I had a dream that I walked into my doctor’s office wearing a green hospital gown and for the life of me, didn’t understand why I was wearing a hospital gown. The next thing I knew I was in one of the exam rooms and I was in labor.

Even in the dream I was confused as to how it was happening. Then, the doctor handed me a little blonde-haired, bright-eyed, healthy baby boy. As I looked down at him I heard a voice behind me say, “His name is Nicolas and I sent him.”

I woke up from that dream not knowing what to make of it. I thought maybe my husband and I would adopt one day and that’s what it was about. I held onto that dream in my heart all these years waiting to see exactly what God had in store and this past July when we realized I was pregnant, I knew exactly who I was carrying in my womb. Nicolas.

Dimples photography

He looks just as I remember him. He has blonde hair and bright blue eyes.

On my 38th birthday I made a promise to myself to be in my best health by the time I was 40. I’ve always tried to live a healthy lifestyle but had some health issues hindering my efforts. Through prayer I found and switched my way of eating to a Ketogenic lifestyle. When I did, all of those health issues dissappeared. Within two weeks my bloodwork was normal again and I felt like a new person. We’ve never looked back and keep moving forward. You can read about that journey here.

I had read that Keto helped many women with infertility issues but it never crossed my mind that it would be the same for me. I had it stuck in my head that I would never have kids and had accepted that a long time ago. However, my daily prayers over my health of being healed and whole…well, I was healed of everything and made completely whole. When God does something, He does it right.

He’s only 13 days old but I don’t know if I will ever not feel overwhelmed holding him…not just holding him but knowing I am holding a promise from God. I get to hold a promise that God showed me over eight years ago after believing for almost 20 years that it was impossible.

If God can do this, He can do anything. There are things I’m believing Him for right now that seem truly impossible but I’m reminded with each feeding, each diaper change, each cry, each smile, each coo, each look, that with God all things are possible.

Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.
Jeremiah 1:5 KJV

But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.
Matthew 19:26 KJV

Blind Faith?

I am honored to have a guest blog posted with Southern Faith Magazine. They are a new publication as of last year that I have read and been encouraged by many times. You can find them on Facebook, Instagram and the web.

If you would like to read the blog of mine they shared, you can find by clicking on the following link or picture:

https://www.southernfaith.com/single-post/2018/01/07/No-Such-Thing-As-Blind-Faith 

 

MISTY MOON HEADSHOT small 11.27.17

 

GET BLESSED!

FEAR NO MORE

I’ve been meditating on this and feel led to share. Sharing a testimony is for others, not for ourselves. People need to know they aren’t going through things alone. The enemy likes to make us think we are alone and when he gets us alone, he can really mess with us.

December 21, 2009, when we found my dad in his front office, deceased, my adrenaline had kicked in so hard that I couldn’t even dial 9-1-1 on my large faced android phone. Literally, took me about five minutes to be able to dial the numbers I was shaking so bad from the adrenaline. I was so frustrated I eventually set the phone down on one of the work tables and used my right hand to steady my left hand enough to dial the numbers. Not sure how that worked since both hands were uncontrollably trembling.

Something happened to me that night because of the adrenaline rush. Something changed internally. I don’t really know how to explain it but I thought something was really wrong with me because I wasn’t, and couldn’t, cry. I couldn’t really feel anything, I had gone numb physically, emotionally and mentally. I didn’t cry the entire time we waited on police and ambulance to show up. I didn’t even cry as I watched them wheel him out on a gurney in a zipped up body bag. I just kept thinking over and over again, “What is wrong with me?”

A fear settled into me that I had never had before, little by little. I started noticing it when things would take place months after his passing. The following February I had a meltdown in my car driving home when snow hit and I was stuck on a hill with my wheels spinning. It came out of nowhere.

When the tornadoes came through on April 2011 and I drove through the tail end of one downtown, thinking my car was going to go rolling like a tumbleweed, the fear living inside of me gained strength.

I didn’t understand why this fear had taken hold of me and there aren’t words to describe what it was really like. Children of God aren’t supposed to live in fear and I prayed about this daily and begged God to take it from me over the last 8 years. I wasn’t a person who lived in fear prior to this. My husband knows however that this fear had changed me. If it was raining out, I wasn’t driving anywhere and if I did, it was nerve wracking and I was white knuckling the steering wheel the entire time. Didn’t even have to be storming, just raining.

It was never about the rain or the snow though. It was a fear that settled in the night my dad passed. I hated it. I didn’t want it. I was ashamed of it.

Earlier this summer, when we were headed to one of our first appointments for a baby check up, it was pouring rain sideways and some thunder and lightning…My husband asked me if I wanted him to drive. My response was, “No, why?”

Note that I typically drive when we go somewhere because I get severe car sickness, something else I’ve prayed about and still believing I will no longer have.

I realized however in that moment, the fear was gone. Completely gone. It no longer had a hold of me. I knew it wasn’t coming back either. For over seven years I had been living with an internal fear, had never talked to anyone besides God about it and continuously spoke scriptures over myself in defiance to the fear, and it had hindered me in many ways. In that moment, I was set free. Prayer, perseverance and the Word of God had conquered it.

One would think it would get worse carrying a child inside them and worrying about their safety but just like something clicked inside of me when that fear took hold, something clicked inside of me when I let it go. I knew right then, I would never have that again. It was gone.

I was thinking about this last night as I was driving to church when I left work. It was pouring, people driving crazy, water on the roads, glare on my windshield…and I started laughing.

 

Joshua 1:9

Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.