FEAR NO MORE

I’ve been meditating on this and feel led to share. Sharing a testimony is for others, not for ourselves. People need to know they aren’t going through things alone. The enemy likes to make us think we are alone and when he gets us alone, he can really mess with us.

December 21, 2009, when we found my dad in his front office, deceased, my adrenaline had kicked in so hard that I couldn’t even dial 9-1-1 on my large faced android phone. Literally, took me about five minutes to be able to dial the numbers I was shaking so bad from the adrenaline. I was so frustrated I eventually set the phone down on one of the work tables and used my right hand to steady my left hand enough to dial the numbers. Not sure how that worked since both hands were uncontrollably trembling.

Something happened to me that night because of the adrenaline rush. Something changed internally. I don’t really know how to explain it but I thought something was really wrong with me because I wasn’t, and couldn’t, cry. I couldn’t really feel anything, I had gone numb physically, emotionally and mentally. I didn’t cry the entire time we waited on police and ambulance to show up. I didn’t even cry as I watched them wheel him out on a gurney in a zipped up body bag. I just kept thinking over and over again, “What is wrong with me?”

A fear settled into me that I had never had before, little by little. I started noticing it when things would take place months after his passing. The following February I had a meltdown in my car driving home when snow hit and I was stuck on a hill with my wheels spinning. It came out of nowhere.

When the tornadoes came through on April 2011 and I drove through the tail end of one downtown, thinking my car was going to go rolling like a tumbleweed, the fear living inside of me gained strength.

I didn’t understand why this fear had taken hold of me and there aren’t words to describe what it was really like. Children of God aren’t supposed to live in fear and I prayed about this daily and begged God to take it from me over the last 8 years. I wasn’t a person who lived in fear prior to this. My husband knows however that this fear had changed me. If it was raining out, I wasn’t driving anywhere and if I did, it was nerve wracking and I was white knuckling the steering wheel the entire time. Didn’t even have to be storming, just raining.

It was never about the rain or the snow though. It was a fear that settled in the night my dad passed. I hated it. I didn’t want it. I was ashamed of it.

Earlier this summer, when we were headed to one of our first appointments for a baby check up, it was pouring rain sideways and some thunder and lightning…My husband asked me if I wanted him to drive. My response was, “No, why?”

Note that I typically drive when we go somewhere because I get severe car sickness, something else I’ve prayed about and still believing I will no longer have.

I realized however in that moment, the fear was gone. Completely gone. It no longer had a hold of me. I knew it wasn’t coming back either. For over seven years I had been living with an internal fear, had never talked to anyone besides God about it and continuously spoke scriptures over myself in defiance to the fear, and it had hindered me in many ways. In that moment, I was set free. Prayer, perseverance and the Word of God had conquered it.

One would think it would get worse carrying a child inside them and worrying about their safety but just like something clicked inside of me when that fear took hold, something clicked inside of me when I let it go. I knew right then, I would never have that again. It was gone.

I was thinking about this last night as I was driving to church when I left work. It was pouring, people driving crazy, water on the roads, glare on my windshield…and I started laughing.

 

Joshua 1:9

Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.

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SEASONS, THEY ARE A’ CHANGING

Typically a year has four seasons. It seems like I’ve been through about 10 this year, spiritually speaking.

I haven’t been blogging much lately, or writing much at all really, due to the fact that I’m now 27 weeks pregnant and working two part time (stress – free, hallelujah) jobs. God has blessed me with two positions that fulfill a great need right now financially and I know He has even bigger and better plans for us.

I’m running behind this morning but wanted to put this word of encouragement out there: Don’t give up.

Please.

Don’t give up.

Trust God. Trust His timing. Trust His process.

Keep pressing forward. Keep looking to your future no matter what things look like right now.

I promise He has a plan for your life, His Word says so.

It’s true there are times we can’t go on, not by ourselves. We need Him. He will carry us. We were never meant to carry the things of this world alone to begin with, that’s why He sent His Son.

Lean on Him and press in.

You are going to be alright. Not just alright, but you are going to be great. You are going to have an amazing testimony once everything you are going through is over and you are on to the next adventure.

God’s good. He’s listening. He’s watching. He’s preparing a way.

GOD’S PLAN, NOT MINE

Sometimes we find ourselves in places that make no sense. I am there right now. I have been there for a while. I’m beginning to wonder if I’m going to start chasing rabbits or having tea with strange men in purple velvet suits and tall hats.

It’s hard to trust God when we don’t understand the situation. More so, it’s hard to trust Him when we can’t see the entire picture. He sees it but sometimes we barely see past the end of our own nose.

I constantly remind myself of the Israelites and the forty years they wandered in the desert. I remind myself of this because it helps to keep my attitude and my obedience in check. History is meant for us to learn from. We would be fools not to study it…

They would not have wandered as long as they did had they just trusted in God’s plan and submitted to it. There was a second factor that also played into their wandering. Their attitude.

I believe it was Zig Ziglar who said,

“It is your attitude, more than your aptitude, that will determine your altitude.”

How true it is. Attitude equals altitude is a more simple way to put it.

Being pregnant with a due date of March 2018, it has been shown to me through recent experiences that employers find their way around the law of not hiring someone who is pregnant with things such as job requirements of being able to lift over a certain weight and excuses like, “We hired someone more qualified.” No way to prove their discrimination in such instances unless they come out and say, “We aren’t hiring you because you are pregnant.”

This is why I trust God’s plan. I have obtained a seasonal part-time position and hopefully another part-time position this next week by employers who I have been up-front with, same as all the others, with my pregnancy. This tells me they are fair people and employers. I am thankful for this most of all.

They are however two positions that I would have never thought myself to be in. They are both new experiences and I have enjoyed the first so far. For the past 20 years I have worked in a professional office atmosphere. The seasonal part-time position is a retail position and although I am adjusting to the hours, I enjoy it. Being pregnant, I need something that is low stress and easy on my body. This fits the description. The second position I would be taking if offered, would be front desk office in a medical atmosphere. Taking phone calls and working with the public I can do in my sleep. I believe getting to wear scrubs is a bonus on that one.

So here I am, in the desert, unknown territory, and I can either be an Israelite or I can change history and keep a good attitude and know that I am right where God needs me.

I choose the latter. Today I sat in my car in my garage when I pulled in from work and some after work errands and shed some tears. I can’t say they were tears of sadness, frustration, anger or the opposite end of joy, happiness or delight. They were just tears as I prayed and talked to God. God already knows our hearts and I have no problem revealing mine to him anyways so He and I have some pretty candid conversations. Today’s was candid times ten. If anything, my tears were more out of thankfulness, relief and trust.

I told Him I didn’t completely understand where he had me and my husband in life right now and I know I can’t see the entire picture but regardless, I trust Him. I believe His Word and I believe the words that have been spoken over us the past couple of years not to mention the revelations and messages we have personally received in our prayer time while communing with the Holy Spirit.

God is not a liar. God is a God of His Word. He always comes through. He always provides. He always watches over His Word.

The enemy will try to make us think differently. The enemy will try and cause us to doubt. The enemy will try to take our focus off of God and onto the issue…

…and sometimes the enemy succeeds. But God.

But God.

Even when the enemy succeeds, God will send people or a Word into our life to get us back on track. That’s who Jesus is. He’s a Good Shepherd who keeps track of his flock and though one may stray, He will go and search for them and bring them back to safety.

If you have strayed, it’s okay. We all stray at different times no matter how much of the Word we know or how often we go to church. God knows how to take care of His people. Open your heart to His peace, His comfort, His protection and His guidance. Ask and receive. If you need direction, tell Him. If you need answers, ask Him. Whatever it is, He loves hearing our voices. Be candid. Talk to Him like you do your best friend. Be open with Him and build trust in your relationship with Him.

 

EXCITING UPDATES

I have been MIA for a bit due to a lot of things going on this season. Pregnancy being one of them. No need for explanation there.

The other new adventure is a ministry that my husband and I have started. It has been on our hearts for a while and things were being worked on behind the scenes. Our website has recently launched that has all the pertinent information. You can check us out at:

www.unreachables.org 

 

4X4 UNREACHABLES.ORG update

 

We are excited to see where God takes us and this ministry. We have already had a video interview with a local online news site. As soon as that article is up and available we will share it.

We will be working on the website as we progress as well. Unreachables is the umbrella for all of our ministry outreaches. We know we are called to be evangelists and the very basic definition of evangelist is one who brings a good word. Our goal is to be a Christ-like example to everyone we come in contact with and encourage others in their Christian walk.

For those that don’t know, my husband competes in Scottish Heavy Athletic games. In simpler terms, he throws around big sticks and rocks. You can read all about it on the www.unreachables.org website.

Our first outreach is coming up in December. We have teamed up with some of the other athletes to put on a charity event for Toys For Tots here in our hometown of Chattanooga, TN. We are hoping to have regular charitable events throughout the year involving the Scottish Heavy Athletics. The people we have met through his competitions are amazing and have such big hearts and we are honored to be part of this. We are praying everything goes smoothly and is successful. You can pray that with us if you would like.

In addition to all of that I am continuing to work through edits on my manuscript for THE BOOK. The book that has been in the works for a few years now. I am behind on my Bible Study workbook publications and am trying to catch up in that area as well. The other piece I am working on is a 365 day devotional. I was hoping to have that out already but my new goal is by end of year. We’ll see.

Most recently, my first poetry collection was published. You can check out all of my published works through www.mistymoonauthor.com . Maybe even buy something if you feel like it.

I am trying to get back in the swing of things and get at least one blog post up a week. I am overflowing with messages God has given me to share but now I just need Him to overflow me with time.

Get blessed!

 

 

 

Kick The devil In The Face

I am 15 weeks pregnant and have known since week 7.

For these last two months, I haven’t done much writing or blogging, or anything for that matter besides sleeping, eating and crying. Amazing what pregnant women will cry over.

I have been consumed with all things pregnancy and baby related. I have had to emotionally adjust to this surprise in our life. I have been overwhelmed with all the immediate changes that positive test result brought. Researching all the necessities we will need for a newborn and getting a registry put together has consumed the little bit of time I’ve been awake and had energy to do it.

My energy seems to be coming back. I still sleep more than I used to but when I am awake, I feel like I have more energy so that’s good.

When I started this blog, God put it in my heart to simply write about Everyday Christian Living. That means the ups, the downs, the real things we deal with as Christians, which are not unlike the things non-believers deal with, and to show a testimony of who He is in every situation.

This is the season I am in and I would almost bet most of my posts going forward will deal with adjusting to parenthood in some form or fashion. Every choice and decision my husband and I make now revolve around this new life that we have been gifted with.

God instructed me to be transparent in what I share because that is how testimony works…people relate. Truth is what sets people free.

The first month after we found out, my thoughts were consumed with fear and doubt. I am a believer and I know better but that didn’t stop the attack of the enemy. That is where fear and doubt comes from, not from God. I was in a spiritual battle and am just now coming out of that phase. Only my husband knows, somewhat, of what I was going through.

The first few weeks I was terrified that this was it. This is my last call. To birth a child and die. Sounds crazy when I type it out and read it but like I said, transparency. I’m considered high risk because of my age (38) which I know, everyone says that’s not that old, but when you go to the doctor and they want to run all sorts of tests because you are “high risk” and then you start reading things on the internet, which only fuels the terror, things don’t look that bright.

I had to counter those thoughts and suggestions with the Word. I had to remind myself constantly of how good God is. I had to seek His Word and attack those thoughts with scripture. It sounds easy but for anyone who has been through it, you know the amount of effort it takes to fight those wrong thoughts some days. There are times where you feel like you are losing the battle no matter how hard you try.

I found myself becoming angry with God because it seemed like everything was getting worse and not better – emotionally, mentally, financially. When something came along that looked like a bright spot, the rug was pulled out from under us, so to speak. I was becoming angry with Him because I didn’t understand. At the end of 2016 I heard in my spirit that 2017 would be our year of jubilee and that word was confirmed more than once over the course of a few months. This year has slowly been draining us of everything.

I still don’t understand but I knew being angry with God wouldn’t get me anywhere. It didn’t get me anywhere as a teenager and it didn’t Jonah anywhere except puked up by a big fish…and that was the last thing I was wanting.

So I had it out with God one morning. Yep, put it all out there. He knew anyways because He knows our hearts but I went boldly into His Court. I told Him I was angry with Him but I didn’t want to be. I told Him I didn’t understand anything that was going on and I needed direction. I told Him how frustrated I was, how tired I was, how empty I felt, how scared I was, how terrified and afraid I felt. I told Him I felt like He had abandoned me. Then I repented, knew I was forgiven, and moved forward in my talk with Him.

I told Him the one thing I did understand is all of those things were “feelings”. The enemy will attack us and our feelings. If he can get us feeling bad, he can get us thinking bad. So once I put all that on the table I told Him, “I know these are things I have been feeling and thinking but I know Your Word. I know what it says” –

  • I am redeemed (Psalm 49:15)
  • I am made righteousness in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:21)
  • He will never leave me or forsake me (Hebrews 13:5)
  • He will ALWAYS provide (Psalm 107:9, Matthew 6:31-32)
  • His ways are higher than my ways (Isaiah 55:8-13)
  • His thoughts are higher than my thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-13)
  • We pay our tithes and give an offering according to the Word. This means we live according to God’s laws, not man. His laws operate in our lives so His Word must be proved true in our lives (Malachi 3:10)
  • His Word never returns to Him void (Isaiah 55:8-13)
  • Things of this earth are temporary. Abundance and lack are both temporary in the earthly realm (2 Corinthians 4:18)
  • I can have Heaven on Earth (Matthew 6:10)
  • He makes a way, every time (Isaiah 43:16)
  • He is Holy and Just (1 Peter 1:16, 1 John 1:9)
  • He is faithful (1 Corinthians 1:9)
  • His Word is true and He is not man that He can lie (Numbers 23:19)
  • He is a good Father who only gives good gifts (Matthew 7:11)
  • I have been given the same promises Abraham was given (Galatians 3:29)
  • He will do a new thing so stop looking to the past (Isaiah 43:19)

The Word tells us we don’t fight against flesh, we fight against principalities and powers (Ephesians 6:12). The Word is of the Spirit. The Word will always overcome but we must know what it says to go into battle.

The night after I had this conversation with God, He gave me a dream. I don’t typically share my dreams publicly but this one is okay to share as it relates to this journey.

I was standing in an empty dining room. There was a long table with chairs around it and a chandelier above, nothing else. There were two doorways into the room. The door straight ahead of me led to a mud room of sorts with a screen door going outside. It was dusk. I looked down and a black snake had entered the dining room. I was afraid at first and didn’t know what to do. I remember jumping up on the table to get away from the snake, trying to figure out what to do. I looked around to see if there was something I could kill it with and there was nothing. I kept watching the snake and I recall it was very slow-moving in the sense that it was carefully calculating its every move.

I looked around again and in the corner behind me was a broom. A simple kitchen broom. I jumped off the table and grabbed the broom, turned around to face the snake and started hitting it with the handle end of the broom at the base of its skull.

This may sound a little gory but I am just relaying what I dreamed. I remember thinking to myself, “This is ridiculous, I’m going to kill a snake with a broom?”

I kept hitting it in the same spot over and over until I decapitated it. I wasn’t scared. I wasn’t terrified. I knew as soon as I had the broom that the battle was over…and then it was.

It was the serpant that decieved Eve. It was the serpant that God cursed to crawl on his belly and eat dust all of his days. In other words, God made him a worm. That’s all the enemy is, a worm. The only thing he can do to us is get us thinking incorrectly, he has no other power. This is why the Word tells us to put on the full armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18).

I knew when I woke that morning, this victory is mine. This season we are in that appears in the flesh as lacking in all things, is not what it appears to be. God has a plan. He has His ways and they are greater than anything I can imagine. I tell myself every day and believe with my whole heart, He would not send us this miracle child without having a plan and provision in place. I’ve said many times, God is an on-time God. He is never early and never late, always on time. That is where our frustration comes in because we can’t always see His “on-time” since, as humans, we like to be prepared and early.

I repented for my anger towards Him. I asked for direction. I heard in my spirit to study the book of Job again but this time as I do, to incorporate Ecclesiastes with it. I thought that was odd and before I started, did not see how the two books would relate to one another.

I divided it up to where I have been reading 3 chapters at a time from Job and 1 chapter from Ecclesiastes. For example, the first day was Job 1-3 and Ecclesiastes 1. The second day was Job 4-6 and Ecclesiastes 2, and so on.

It is amazing the things of God that have been revealed to me in doing so. If you are so inclined, have a go at it.

The “bad” thoughts still come, as they always will, because the enemy never gives up and we must be vigilant. When they do, we have defense. We have gear to battle those thoughts. It’s the Word of God. It’s His Truth. It wins every time.

We must understand though, a battle is a battle. It takes place. It takes time. It takes strategy. It takes determination. It takes winning. It takes victory. If we know from the beginning that we already have the Victory, we can never lose.

 

Isaiah 55:8-13 (KJV)

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

10 For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater:

11 So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.

12 For ye shall go out with joy, and be led forth with peace: the mountains and the hills shall break forth before you into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.

13 Instead of the thorn shall come up the fir tree, and instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree: and it shall be to the Lord for a name, for an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.