Kingdom Business

SEEK what first above all else? The kingdom of God.

WHERE is the kingdom of God? Inside each of us.

WHAT is in the kingdom? Righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Ghost.

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
Matthew 6:33 KJV

Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you.
Luke 17:21 KJV

For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost.
Romans 14:17 KJV


I don’t even know how to describe my Sunday. I’m laying in bed at 12:30 in the morning trying to process everything.

I’ve never had a day like today. There was heartbreaking news I received first thing this morning that broke my heart for a friend. Then an on time message at church in regards to some other things we are dealing with. A message that confirmed some of God’s promises for our life. Then more heartbreaking news after service. Then an evening service with a special guest minister who spoke something over me that I didn’t understand when he said it. I’ll get back to that in a minute. At the end of service I received healing that I’ve been believing God for, for a very long time. Then once home I found out my Aunt, who I just talked with a few weeks ago, passed on Friday.

The word spoken over me was from Psalm 30:5… weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.

When I heard the news of my aunt, I understood.

I promised God when I re-dedicated my life to Christ that I would always testify of His goodness. I don’t know what else to do right now except that. My aunt is no longer suffering and is healed and whole so I rejoice in that. As for the other heartbreaking news from today I can only trust and believe that God will bring something beautiful out of those situations more than He already has.

As for my healing, I watched my own left leg grow an inch and a half tonight. I was in the presence of God at the altar and a work was done there on a deeper level than I will go into here. But then, at the very end of service, I sat and watched a prophet of God pray for healing in my back as my heels rested in the palms of his hands.

You may have heard me mention before that around age 11 or 12, I had a mishap while cross country skiing where I got my skis crossed and fell hitting my tail bone directly on the spot where the skis were crossed. I truly thought I was paralyzed. I couldn’t move for at least 20 minutes and then forced myself to get up and walk, a very slow walk. I had other injuries after that including a bulged disc and some other issues over the years.

I’ve been to the chiropractor for years to get relief and preventative care. I haven’t been able to go these past few months because even with our new insurance, we haven’t had the money to cover our cost of the visits. I’ve been standing in faith that I’m healed even though in the natural I don’t remember a time I haven’t had some form of back pain going on. I don’t go by what I feel or see though, I go by what I know to be true in God’s Word and tonight that truth manifested.

As I sat back against the chair, straight as I could, when I put my feet in the palms of his hand, my left foot was about an inch and a half shorter. This was no surprise to me because I have not been able to stand flat on both feet without leaning to the right to balance myself out. So as he prayed… I will do my best to describe what I felt… It felt as if hands were wrapped around the bones from my lower back, in my hips, down my legs, to my feet, and pulled every which way to align everything as it should be. I even, not realizing it at first, pulled back against the adjusting and felt the pressure of it pulling me the other way. The work was in progress and there wasn’t anyway I could stop it if I wanted to because I was open to receiving my healing. I saw my left leg, with my own two eyes, grow (realign) an inch and a half. There were witnesses as well. There were others with back problems who were healed in the same way and I watched their legs reallign.

I knew when I stood up and walked, the healing was complete. When I walked across the sanctuary, I stood flat foot without having to lean to one side.

Then, on the way home, as I was talking with God and trying to process everything, I realized I could breath normally. God healed me of asthma tonight and I didn’t even know until I was driving home.

Two things: an obedient man is an instrument of God through which the Holy Spirit can operate. The healing comes from God, not the man, and we have to receive it. Second, the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy so after healing he may try to bring symptoms back to get you thinking you weren’t really healed. Tell the enemy to shove it and stand on God’s promise of healing.

I still don’t know how to describe my overall day. There’s much in the details (outside of my healing) I’m choosing not to share and half of it isn’t mine to share anyways.

Pray for me and my family. My Aunt meant a lot to me.

Regardless of this up and down day, God is still good and the same today as He was yesterday and I can depend on Him tomorrow as well.

A Moment in the Garden

A Moment in the Garden

Playing worship music and letting it drift through the house. Praying in the Spirit relentlessly. Speaking scripture out loud to remind you of God’s goodness and provision. Attending every church service listening for the Word God has for you specifically. Standing in faith. Seeking things out that line up with what you have been believing for.

These things only go so far.

Yes, they only carry you so far.

How can I say that? Because I’m as far as I can get by doing all of this and it has carried me to the garden.

What garden am I talking about? The same one that Jesus sweated blood in.

If you read the story of the events leading up to the crucifixion in Luke chapter 22, you will come to the place where Jesus went to pray in the garden of Gethsemane. This is where he prayed so hard his sweat dripped as blood. This happens after an angel appears to him and strengthens him.

This is Christ, the Anointed, in such distress that he is sweating profusely because he knows what he is about to endure. He’s so distressed over it that he even asks God to remove this responsibility from him if possible.

I’ve been meditating on this story this week among others. I’ve been in prayer for weeks over a few situations in my life. Wednesday on the way to church, I was aggravated, angry, frustrated, beat down, fed-up, and then some.

I told my husband, “I’m tired of praying about it.” What IT is will be revealed at a later time and this will probably make more sense, maybe.

I wanted to throw in the towel. I felt like a failure as a Christian for reaching that point because of a teaching that I realize now we get off in a ditch with: count it all joy.

I hear many Christians give this advice when their brothers and sisters are in the garden when really what they need is compassion and a hug.

I don’t know where it says Jesus was laughing in the garden. I don’t know where it says Abraham went skipping up the mountain with a smile on his face telling Isaac to “Keep up! This is going to be awesome!” I don’t see where Noah was celebrating the death of the entire world with the exception of those allowed on the ark. I haven’t read where Mary went running out into the streets yelling, “I’m pregnant! I’m pregnant!”, pushing her belly out for those nearby to feel the kicks of our coming Savior.

But did they count it all joy?


They still had their moment in the garden though. They still had the moment of feeling the weight of their responsibility bearing down on them. Frankly, I’m tired of hearing people tell me, laugh it off, count it all joy, be happy, smile, and what not.

That is not what “count it all joy” means. James 1:2 says, “My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;”

If we continue in verse 3 it says, “Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her prefect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.”

It means that when we are working our way through tough situations, know that on the other side God’s glory will shine through.

When people tell me I shouldn’t be sad or have a moment of crying or despair, because I should “count it all joy” it makes me feel like I have failed as a Christian. It becomes a stumbling block to me.

I realized this week, even Jesus had his moment in the garden. There were other times he had a moment…he wept, he was angry, he had compassion, he showed love, he was frustrated…but the most important part…

…He sinned not.

He never sinned in these situations. We can have our moments of despair and crying and frustration and we can even tell God how we are feeling without a smile on our face.

That’s what He is there for. He’s our Father. We cry out to Him. We tell Him our heart.

When we tell others they should count it all joy, without compassion or understanding, during the season or situation they are in, we become their stumbling block and convict them of what they are going through instead of leading them to Christ in it.

Counting it all joy is knowing that God has it handled. In my situation that I’ve been praying about, I know that I know that I know that God’s got this but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. It doesn’t mean I don’t need His strength. It doesn’t mean I can’t grow in the things of Christ.

I reached a low point and said I was tired of praying about it and heard the Holy Spirit say, “but God’s not tired of hearing about it.”

He’s there ALL THE TIME. He’s LISTENING to every word we speak. He does not leave us, He does not forsake us and He’s working all things out for good. When we reach our lowest, He wants to be there and we have to let Him. It brings us to a point where He becomes our everything. We have to cry out for Him. We have to keep our relationship with Him and not turn away because we feel ashamed that we couldn’t keep a smile on our face.

He doesn’t want fake.

He wants a real relationship with you.

Hebrews 12:2 says, “Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

For the JOY that was set before him but yet he had a moment in the garden where he cried out to God! He knew the resulting joy of the situation and still cried out!

I know the joy that is coming in my situation. I know the testimony that is coming. I still had a moment in the garden. I was a mess earlier this week and then today, in prayer, with a second wind given to me by God, my Father, he had me laughing in the Spirit.

My situation looks the same as it did yesterday. Nothing has changed except I cried out to Him yesterday and today He gave me joy.


Luke 22:44 (KJV) And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground.

Psalm 30:5 (KJV) For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.




I was standing in line the other day at the grocery store and noticed every lane was actually open, even the self-check-out lanes. That alone was a sign of “End Times.”


It was at the end of the work day and my first thought was, “Wow, don’t ever come to the grocery store on a Tuesday evening after work, too busy.”


I started noticing the looks on everyone’s faces. Solemn. Sad. Discouraged. Angry. Annoyed. Could care less. Unhappy. Not just the people working there but the people standing in line as well.


Everyone looked completely miserable.


I took note of one lady two carts up from me who was staring at the man in line between us who was oblivious to her stare. She was looking at him, up and down, over her coke-bottle glasses, like he was an alien, as he flipped through the various magazines on the shelf. I wondered why.


I think it may have been that he was standing too close to her unzipped purse she had sitting in the seat of the cart/buggy/basket. *Side note, I have no idea what these things are called any more. Being from Michigan and living in Tennessee an equal amount of time now, my language is very mixed.


I continued to look around at people and how they all just stood there, staring at one another, not wanting to invade each other’s space. Keeping enough distance from one another so they couldn’t smell one another. Taking turns looking at one another because they didn’t want to be caught looking at one another.


I laughed out loud at the ridiculousness of it all.


Then they were all staring at me.


Eyes down, don’t make eye contact. Pretend everything is normal.


All I could do is lower my chuckle and shake my head. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. I wanted to shout at all of them. If I had a straight shot to the door that I could run once I shouted, I probably would have.


Don’t you realize we are all the same?! Don’t you realize we come from the same breath of life?! Don’t you realize we need each other?! Don’t you realize we are all brothers and sisters?! Why are you so miserable?! Why don’t you have joy?!


I was the only one out of probably fifty people who had a smile on their face. That made me sad.


I knew in that moment the Holy Spirit was ministering to me. He made me take note of how rigid people have become. We don’t talk to one another. We don’t even smile at one another anymore.


It has to change. There has to be communication between people or we will keep spiraling down the technological drain of ignorance.


I heard the Holy Spirit tell me this is part of our ministry. The ministry and message my husband and I have in our hearts to share with people. We have to help people find their joy again. We have to show them there is more to life than those 5 o’clock frowns.


I compared the view I had at that very moment, standing in line at the store, to the view I would have in heaven. I can’t imagine that we will all just be standing around staring awkwardly at one another. Pretty sure it will be the complete opposite.


We all spend too much time being scared of one another. We spend too much time wrapped up in ourselves. We spend too much time staring at our phones, gossiping about people we don’t know, focused on everything else but our surroundings.


I am one of those people who will strike up a conversation with a stranger in a store line. I will make you laugh before the conversation ends. I will make sure you smile before you walk away from me. I will lighten the day of the cashier who has been on their feet for 8 hours dealing with sour faced customers, one after another, all 8 hours.


Isn’t that what we are called to be? A light?


How bright does yours shine?


Is it even on?



Matthew 5:14-16 (KJV)

Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.