I used to shake my head at giving money to the church. I should have known then the things I was against most would be what I stand for most later on. There is a lot to learn from Paul…

I remember very clearly the night I had revelation in the Word on what paying tithes truly was. It was about 10 years ago.

I wrote a $10 bad check to God. 

Yes, you read that right. I wrote a bad check to God. I have the check register somewhere. My account had around fifty cents to the negative, I don’t remember the exact amount off the top of my head. I want to say it was .42 or .67 to the negative. I knew I was writing a bad check. I knew there wasn’t money to cover that check but a light bulb didn’t just go off, it exploded over my head and I sat there with shards in my eyes.

There is more to this story and how my revelation came about, and it is all part of the book I am working on, but I will share this part of it with you now.

I realized the tithe didn’t go to the church. Was the check addressed to the church? Of course. Was the church going to cash it? Of course. Was the church going to use that money how they saw fit for the Kingdom of God? Of course. I didn’t write that check to the church though. I may have put their name on it. I may have dropped it in their offering plate but I wrote that check to God.

It was His. I wrote God a bad check on His money. He and I had a good laugh that night.

I put that check in the offering plate without an ounce of regret. I told God when I dropped it in there, “I’m stepping out in faith. Prove Your Word to me.”

That check was cashed and never bounced. I had a peace about my finances that I had never had before. Since that day, my husband and I have not missed paying our tithes. We haven’t bounced any checks either. We haven’t gone without. We’ve seen God provide for us in ways only He can. Money appearing out of nowhere, literally. Jesus put a coin in the mouth of a fish and we can read about it in the Bible and he put one in my drivers seat when I needed it. That story is in my book too.

Does this mean we haven’t been through financial hardship? Not at all. About two years after we started paying tithes my dad passed and it destroyed us financially. When I say “destroy,” I mean it sank all of our battleships. That wasn’t God that destroyed us though. The enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy, not God. That was the enemy’s doing. What did God do while the enemy was attacking? He fought for us. He stood in front of us and sent His angels to encamp about us. He took care of us. We continued to pay tithes and God continued to shelter, feed and clothe us. He nursed our wounds. He made sure we never lost hope. He repaired us.

My husband was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease the first year we were married called sarcoidosis.  He was at the end of stage 3 on the cusp of stage 4 at his time of diagnosis. Eight years later he was announced as “in remission,” (PRAISE GOD!) but there were still constant hospital bills as he went through treatment and we traveled every three months two hours north of us to the wonderful doctor we found who I know God placed in our path.

Student loans for both of us to boot. Enough said.

Financial hardships have happened along the way. We have made some of our own mistakes in managing our money. We have learned things about money management we didn’t know before. We have learned in the Word how God wants us to handle our money. The entire time, He has been there. Teaching, leading, providing.

At the end of last year in my prayer time and talking to God about how 2017 was going to look, I heard the Holy Spirit say, “This is your year of Jubilee,” and I was in tears. I am sick of debt. I am tired of debt. My husband and I have God-given dreams that don’t allow room for debt. We want to be blessed to be a blessing. I know the enemy has attacked and stolen and tripped us up but this year, we are getting all of that back in a God kind of way.

It doesn’t look like it right now in the physical sense but I know His voice and I know what He told me. I know this is our year of Jubilee no matter what things look like right now. It’s just March. We have nine months left.

We have been taking steps and making decisions based on the God-goals we have. One of those is focusing on paying off debt. First we have to believe we can no matter what it looks like on paper. We have to have big faith and we can because we have a big God.

I have taken to putting images in front of my eyes that remind me daily of those God-goals. I have put decorative canvases up around the house that have the word “love” in them to remind me to walk in the God kind of love. We have a dream/goal journal where we have written things down and look at it daily. I have a private Pinterest board where I have pinned images of these same goals that I can scroll through at any time as a reminder.

Here is what I have done in regards to our debt. A couple weeks ago, I made a list of each and every debt we have, big and small, and even included the student loans. Every. Single. Debt.

I’ve been thanking God every day for being debt free. I gave my worries to Him and just thank Him for being debt free. Speaking it out like it is even though it isn’t at the moment. That’s called faith. I have been listening to encouraging messages about being debt free. I have been reading about testimonies of people getting out of debt. You have to keep the faith so I do these things to encourage myself in this walk.

Here is the most recent thing I did and I want to share it with you! I created a check template, printed one off for each debt I have and filled it in accordingly like that check is written to pay off that debt.

I included Malachi 3:10 on the template as a reminder of Who provides for me, in times of plenty and in times not so plenty.

In the Memo section of the check, I wrote: Debt paid in full by Jesus

He really covered it all. When we realize the unimportance of money compared to what He did for us, we will realize money doesn’t control us. We can get our focus off of our financial situation and on Him. We will be blessed to be a blessing.

The template below has room in the upper left corner to put your name. You can download and print these off and use them to fill in for each debt you have. I urge you to pray and ask God for guidance and direction and wisdom and understanding when it comes to your finances. Ask for revelation in His Word because there is a lot about finances that I’m not covering here. You have to believe you can be financially free first. I don’t know of a single piece of scripture that says God wants us financially ruined or poor. He tells us with His own Word how we should operate in our area of finances and it starts with the tithe.

I would love to hear your feedback in the comments or a testimony of what God has done in your life!

DOWNLOADS HERE.

BLANK CHECKS generic form (PDF FORM WITH FIELDS THAT CAN BE FILLED IN)

BLANK CHECKS generic (EXCEL FILE YOU CAN MODIFY)

BLANK CHECKS generic (PLAIN PDF TO PRINT AND FILL IN)

Malachi 3:10 (KJV)

Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.

I like Mondays. I know, that’s strange. I really do though. It begins a time of new opportunities. What may be a typical day today could look completely different by Friday. It could look completely different tomorrow and depending on the choices I make, the course of my day could change at this very moment.

There are things taking place in our lives, mine and my husbands, that are changing our future. That can be said for any one of us on any day. Things take place each day that build your future. We have God-given dreams and desires and we are watching those things take shape and form. We are calling those things that we can’t see with our eyes as if they already exist. Technically they do because those things are in our hearts. We have written our dreams down and we talk about them. We pursue them. We make decisions based on whether or not they will fulfill those dreams in some aspect.

There are things bubbling to the surface that God put on our hearts years ago. He hasn’t forgotten but we did for a while. He’s reminding us. He’s making provision and guiding our steps towards those dreams. He is getting us back on the path that leads towards those dreams. I no longer want my life to be like a dashed scene from the Family Circus in the Sunday comics. I want my focus to be on Him and the goals I set out to accomplish in this life.

I am pursuing my writing career which is just a portion of what God has called us to do. It is part of the ministry He has put on our hearts. I began submitting pieces of my poetry in the fall of last year to a few different contests. I did this to overcome the words of the enemy that were constantly being whispered in my ear, “You aren’t a writer and you will never be an author.” The enemy is a fool.

I submitted three different poems to three different companies and one short story to one of those same companies, different contest obviously. I didn’t start small either. I didn’t find some obscure magazine to submit to. I picked the top of the line. I went for the big dogs. Ironically, the first poem I submitted was titled, “Catalyst”. It was my jumping off point. Anything going forward will be a piece of cake.

All three poems and the short story are non-winners and I am fantastically okay with that. Their purpose was to find a winner. My purpose was to submit and put my name out there and smirk at the devil. Everyone accomplished their goals.

Now that I have resolved the doubt and fear over letting others read my writing I can move to the next task at hand. I’m not stuck any more.

I have been reading a book, and listening to the accompanying CD’s that go with it, by Terri Savelle Foy called, “Imagine Big.” Somewhere in there she referred to a quote by a very successful business man and it stuck in my head. I can’t remember now who she was quoting but I’m going to paraphrase. It was along the lines of what our response should be when we are told, “No.” Our response should be, “Next!”

I grabbed a hold of that. I don’t like to hear people say, “Well, God must have shut that door,” when they try something once and it doesn’t work out. Really? You think God slammed a door in your face on something He’s put in your heart? Where’s the faith?

Jesus told Peter to walk on water. Peter tried. Peter went under. If God was closing that door He would have let Peter drown. Jesus came up and took Peter’s hand. Ah ha! Maybe if a door closed, or never opened, it’s because you weren’t walking with Jesus through it!

Maybe the person on the other side of the door isn’t walking with Jesus and that’s why the door closed. Either way, if God put a dream on your heart, pursue it. Desire it. Chase after it. Run like you have never run before. I keep picturing this Chinese game show my husband and I watch on YouTube where they have different obstacle courses to get through.  One of the courses is a series of walls and in each wall there are three or four different doors. Only one of those doors in each series opens and they have no idea which one until they take a run at it. Very rarely do they choose the right door the first go at it. Typically, they take off running at what looks like a door and hit it and bounce back and fall to the ground.

It’s what they do next that determines their future.

They get back up.

They get back up and try again by running at a different door with the same goal in mind. They don’t stop and stare at the door they couldn’t get through, they move on to the next and never look back, without hesitation.

The full quote is by Alexander Graham Bell, “When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” It’s that second half of the quote that people need to start including.

My answer to every closed door is, “Next!” I have goals. I will accomplish those goals. I have gone as far to start what I am calling, “My Next Book,” by printing off each piece of writing I submit and putting it in a binder. Behind that piece of writing is each rejection letter.

I am encouraging you to start your Next Book and do the same. Use it as fuel for what is in your heart to do.

What goals have you let doubt and fear keep you from pursuing? What can you do today to overcome those fears? Don’t give up just because a door closed and don’t waste your time staring at that door. Next!

John 15:16 (KJV)

Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you.

I burned olive oil this morning. Olive oil spray from a can to be exact. How does one do that you ask? You spray a pan with it, put the pan on the stove, turn the eye on to heat up and then don’t watch it and do something else until it turns dark brown and starts smoking.

It really is that easy. Here is a picture to prove it.

If you have been following my blog, you’ll see I’m trying to change my morning routine from something that looks like one of my hung over mornings from my early 20’s, without the alcohol these days of course, into a Disney themed fairy tale of twinkling smiles and waking up with a perfect hair bow strategically placed to boot.

You get the idea.

I’m trying to be a morning person. I’m trying to set my day in motion. I’m not just doing this for kicks, trust me. I’ve been working on imagining my day and what I want it to look like.  Refer to this blog post to see why and what I’m talking about.

To accomplish the things I want to accomplish, I have to get my day started the right way. That means with God. Last night, I had some pretty horrible dreams. Horrible enough to wake up and not like the feeling I had. I didn’t sleep well and I just didn’t want to get out of bed this morning. I didn’t feel like going to work. I didn’t feel like getting up and thanking God. I wanted to sleep. I wanted to get comfortable. I wanted to do what I wanted to do. Guess what I did though? I dragged myself out of bed, made the bed and thanked God anyways. I raised my arms in worship to Him anyways.

I can’t go by what I feel. I was feeling yucky because of some bad dreams. How do I get rid of the yucky feelings? Paul said to King Agrippa in Acts 26:2 that he thinks himself happy. That’s what I did this morning. Feelings change. I have control over how I feel so I changed how I felt. I “thinked” myself happy. No, not good English, just go with it. Within a couple of minutes of praising God I was able to shake off those yucky feelings and get happy. I was able to change the course of my day.

Read that again. You need to understand this. I WAS ABLE TO CHANGE THE COURSE OF MY DAY.

I could have continued in the yuck but I didn’t want to. I knew I had a choice not to. I chose not to. I chose to change the course of my day by thanking God and lifting my hands to Him first. If He’s first, everything else will work out for the good.

So as I felt my body wake up quicker than I originally wanted it to, my brain kicked in to high gear with ideas and plans. I was mapping things out in my head as I fumbled into the kitchen to cook breakfast. I googled something on my phone and I was trying to cook eggs and make coffee all at the same time. Multi-tasking at its finest.

I found an article on Warren Buffett that caught my attention and the next thing I knew I was reading 29 quotes by him and trying to gauge where that fit in and could be applied to the plans my husband and I have. I’m a firm believer in studying the habits of successful people and seeing how I can apply those habits, weighing them against the Word first of course.

Next thing I know, I looked over at the pan I had heating up and I had burned the oil. I had to wash the pan and start over.

It struck me that I burned the olive oil. I have a blue glass bottle I keep on my vanity that I put olive oil in. I use it for anointing oil when I pray over our home or us. I thought about that bottle when I looked at the burned olive oil in the pan.

The olive oil in the pan is a spray that I use for cooking and I’ll admit I chuckled when I pictured myself using a can of spray olive oil in my prayer time. Can you picture your pastor pulling a can of spray oil out from behind the pulpit and anointing someone before they prayed over them? A little squirt on the head and good to go. Shake the can and squirt the next one in line at the altar. At a large altar call just start at one end and take off running never letting off the nozzle! Hit them all at once! It would sure keep people from peeking when they are told “every head bowed and every eye closed.” I can’t imagine oil sprayed in the eyes feels good. Really, you need to close your eyes and imagine this. Have a good laugh right now.

Seriously though, the burned oil caught my attention. After me and God had a good laugh, I thought about what happens to the anointing if we ignore it. It burns up. It fizzles out. It’s rendered useless. You have to wash it off and start over. It turns to sludge.

How much of God’s provision do we waste? How much of the move of the Spirit do we ignore? How often are we distracted by other things and miss out on His blessings?  I made us both behind schedule this morning because I had to start over. I couldn’t drop our eggs- our food, our nourishment- into that pan of yuck. It would have made the food gross.  I don’t want gross food. I don’t want gross Word. I don’t want gross blessings. It’s not really a blessing then, is it?

I want things done just right. I want things done on time. I want good food. God told me to keep my pace, not be overwhelmed, don’t burn the oil. Don’t get ahead of myself. One thing at a time. Stay focused. If I do, it will all come together like a hot meal at breakfast cooked to perfection and right on time.

I love laughing with God and learning at the same time.

Psalm 45:7 (KJV)

Thou lovest righteousness, and hatest wickedness: therefore God, thy God, hath anointed thee with the oil of gladness above thy fellows.

Yesterday evening we had storms sweep through the area. It was pretty rough for a while. High winds, scary lightning, some areas had walnut sized hail, tremendous thunder, downpours, everything but the lady dressed in black riding her bicycle.

We were supposed to have a ladies movie night but we decided to move it to Saturday because we knew early on the weather had the potential to get pretty rough. I decided to use my evening to make a new Keto recipe. My husband and I have been on a Ketogenic diet (low carb/high (good) fats/medium protein) since May of 2016 and I am always looking for quick and easy recipes that fit with our busy schedule. Last night, it was pretzel dogs. I love pretzels. I love bread. Bread loved me. We can’t have bread on a Ketogenic diet but there are substitute recipes involving almond flour that have hit the spot.

Around 6pm I started to mix the ingredients and watched the sky grow darker. I knew the storm was approaching. I also knew that when it storms, or if you blink your eyes and create the tiniest of drafts, the power in our neighborhood goes out. I was taking my chances by cooking something that involved the oven. It took about 10 minutes to get the dough ready and wrapped around the cheddar-filled sausages I was using. In the oven they went for 12 minutes.

I’m not sure how much time went by before the power flickered and went out. I stood in the dark and smiled knowing I had under-cooked dough in the oven. I wondered if the power was going to stay out and if it did, how long before the dough went bad? How long before I had to throw away the deliciousness that was baking in the oven? How long before it was rendered useless and I would have to start over if I wanted pretzel dogs?

The power came back on about two minutes later. The temperature in the oven had to rise again. The timer had to be reset but the problem was that I wasn’t sure exactly where it was at when the power went off. Add in the fact that it wasn’t a non-stop cooking time and it was having to heat back up. Now, I had to stand right there at the oven and watch. I had to watch to make sure I didn’t overcook it. I had to watch to make sure they didn’t burn. I had to watch and make sure I cooked them long enough. At one point I pulled them out and cut one open to see how cooked the dough was. I put them back in the oven because they weren’t ready.

For the next twenty minutes, me and mother nature duked it out. She kept knocking the power out, I kept praying it back on. I kept resetting the timer and checking my pretzel dogs. The power would be on. The power would go off. Five minutes later, it would come on. What should have taken 12 minutes to cook took around 30.

This morning, as I woke up, I thought about something I read about Smith Wigglesworth and how he described his mornings. He told how he would jump out of bed in the mornings and dance before the Lord. He talked about how he would run around his room for a good 10 to 12 minutes each morning. He did this well on into his golden years.

So as I lay there in bed this morning, after texting my husband in the very next room that the dog was awake and ready to be walked, indicating he should come get her because I was not ready to be up and walked, I pondered on Smith Wigglesworth.

I went to sleep last night with the pain of a pinched nerve in my neck radiating down my arm into my fingertips. I woke up this morning with a stiff neck. I woke up this morning knowing that when my feet hit the floor, I would be reminded by my joints that I’m not in my 20’s anymore. I would be reminded by my shuffle down the hallway that my body takes a minute to loosen up these days. I thought about Smith Wigglesworth and how he jumped up out of bed and danced. I told God, I’m going to try this. I’m 38 years old. If he can do it, so can I.

I lay there a little while longer. I wasn’t fully convinced I wasn’t going to hurt something if I jumped out of bed into the dark abyss of a bedroom we have (black-out curtains) so I eased into it. I threw the covers off and stood up really fast, not quite a “jump.” I stood there for a moment and still wasn’t convinced that if I started dancing something wasn’t going to snap. I was always taught to stretch first when I took tap, ballet and jazz. So I slipped on my flip-flops and walked to the end of the bed and I bounced on my tip-toes. It was an attempt at movement that my body was not used to in the morning. As I bounced on my tip-toes, gravity felt extra strong and sluggish. I felt every joint in my body fighting against me and screaming, “who do you think you are?!”

I bounced on my toes for maybe 10 seconds. That was all I had in me. I am far from a morning person. At eight o’clock in the evening, watch out, I’m ready to run around the block.

As I shuffled down the hallway I said, “God, I tried.”

I heard the Holy Spirit say, “Keep your momentum.”

That is when I was reminded of the pretzel dogs.

Today I bounced on my toes for 10 seconds. Tomorrow I’ll do it again and maybe I’ll be able to do it for a minute. Eventually, my body is going to get used to jumping out of bed and dancing before the Lord to get my day started. It will set my pace.

I was really craving pretzel dogs last night and because the power kept going off and coming back on, interrupting its cooking time, they took longer than normal and the crust didn’t cook like it should had it been a consistent 12 minutes.

I really crave God. I crave a relationship with Him and am constantly trying to find ways to get closer to Him. However, there are times that I let other things interrupt my progression. I let distractions get in the way. I let the “cook time” be interrupted which means I have to pick up where I left off, reheat, or sometimes start all over. There are things about my walk with God that should have taken 12 minutes but because I let the power go off, they took 30 minutes. How much quicker would I be satisfied if I kept my momentum?

This morning I started something new. If I had jumped out of bed and ran around the room like a crazy woman, my body would be feeling it tomorrow morning and fight me. I made an attempt this morning. I’m in the process of heating up the oven. Tomorrow morning I’m going to keep my momentum and get up a little faster. I’m going to bounce a little longer. I might even shout “Amen” and scare the dog. I’m going to keep doing this, keep my momentum, until I get up every morning jumping out of bed and praising God with my focus solely on Him.

This can apply to any goal you have in life. Keep your momentum. If you do too much too fast, you will wear yourself out and things will come out undercooked or burned. If you do too little too slow, the ingredients will go bad and you’ll have to throw them out and start over.

God honors those that try and don’t give up.

Keep your momentum.

Hebrews 12:1 (KJV)

Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

When I was little and people asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up, my eyes would get real big and I would smile all giddy…

“A cashier lady!”

The looks on their face were priceless, I just didn’t know it at the time.

Some adults would fake smile and say “Well, that’s nice but what do you really want to be?”

The question confused me. I really wanted to punch buttons on a cash register and sling the plastic roller over the credit cards.  If you are not old enough to know what I am talking about, there used to be a day where credit cards weren’t all the rage *jazzhands* and a carbon copy was taken of them, the original “swipe” if you will. When I saw people with credit cards, I would think, “Wow! They must have a lot of money!” Oh, to be an innocent child again…

I was at the age where I was just tall enough to see over the conveyor belt and be eye level where the lady’s fingertips would strike each key. It was perfection, like watching someone play piano from just the right angle, seeing their fingers glide against the keys. I remember when stores started scanning bar codes instead of typing each price into the machine. They ran the UPC symbol over the asterisk shape cut out of the plastic piece that lay on top of the scanner glass and the beep was music to my ears. Yes, every item in every store had its own individual price tag at one point in time. I was fascinated with the big bulky price guns. The methodical tap of the gun across boxes of Kleenex fascinated me. Oh! And the cash drawer! The spring action metal pieces that held each bill neatly in place and when the cashier was finished getting the change out, the way they all shut in unison as she slid the drawer back into its slot. It was eye candy to me.

I wanted to run a cash register when I grew up. Eventually, because nobody believed me or they scoffed at what I said or rolled their eyes and laughed, I began to believe I had to be something else too. I stopped telling people about my cash register dreams. At an eighth grade job fair, I met a young architect. He had a model of a house sitting at his table. My secret fascination with small things peaked my interest in architecture. I wanted to build models like the one he had. I decided I wanted to work for an architectural firm and that’s what I told people after that.

In middle school I had a couple babysitting jobs over the summer that I was paid for. High school came and I worked on the side for my dad to make a little extra money. Then, when I turned 16 and I was legally able to apply for a job, lo and behold, I was a cashier lady. Try and stop me from my dreams, ha!

I worked at a little grocery store in the town we were living in and I ran that cash register like nobody’s business. I perfected my method of scanning and bagging and had it down so much that the regulars would come through my line and whisper to me, “I like coming through your line. You’re fast and know how to bag my groceries!” It always put a smile on my face. To this day, my husband cuts his eyes at me when we go grocery shopping and the cashier puts anything but a bag of bread on top of my eggs. He knows I’m going to reach into that bag and remove whatever item they haphazardly threw on top of my fragile eggs and smile at them while I do it, kindly explaining you never put anything in the egg bag except one bag of bread, on top of the eggs.

I graduated high school, went through my first year of college with an undeclared major and then took about five years off. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I was 18 years old. What did I know? Not as much as I thought I did. I worked for my dad mostly during that time. He was a master upholsterer and we worked with many of the higher end designers in our city. When I finally decided to go back to college, I remember flipping through the university catalogue and saw they had an Interior Design program. Sign me up!

I went on to get my Bachelor of Science in Interior Design. I was an Interior Designer, not a decorator. There’s a difference! That was for my fellow designers. I got your back. I worked for an architectural firm for 8 years, starting there while I was still working towards my degree. It was a great experience and I was given the opportunity to work on every kind of project I wanted to along the side of brilliant minds. I even helped build little models of some nice projects. I won an award for design and contributed to many other award-winning projects I had my hands in with the team. I’ve been asked back to my alma mater to speak in some of the design classes and judge some of the projects, which I happily obliged. I’ve been asked to consider teaching one of the classes. I’m honored and humbled by that offer. I achieved my goal. From there I went on to working for a national account lighting company and this journey is now coming to an end. I walked in the door as a project designer and will be walking out the door as a Vice President. I gave it my all while I was here as well. It’s just what I do.

I rededicated my life to Christ at the age of 28 and dreams and goals began changing. The one thing I always wanted to be, and never told anyone for 36 years, is a writer. I heard the things people said to others who wanted the same thing and I let their eye rolls stop me. I wrote in secret. I kept journals. I started stories. I wrote poetry. I kept it all hidden away while I achieved things the world looked at as successful. I don’t disagree. Putting my accomplishments on paper, I’ve achieved more than most people even dream to. That’s where we sell ourselves short. We stop dreaming.

 I also had it in my heart to get a degree in Theology. God afforded me that opportunity a few years back and I was able to obtain my Associates in Theology through In Christ International Bible College. Another goal accomplished.

For the last couple of years I’ve been saying the words out loud, “I want to be a writer.” I’ve had to get used to it. I’ve had to convince myself that I could do it. I had to believe it first before anyone else would. Of course, fear and doubt tried having its way with questions like, “How are you going to transition from an Interior Designer to a writer? Who does that?” That very expensive piece of paper that is still rolled up in its tube on my shelf in the living room, has defined so many things about me. A piece of paper! A piece of paper defines who I am. Exactly. That is my goal. I want a piece of paper to define me. I want to write on that piece of paper. I want to write so many things on a piece of paper and hand it over to the world.

 I am a writer. I had to change what I was saying. Instead of wanting to BE a writer, I had to start saying I AM a writer. I AM a poet. I AM an accomplished author. I AM a New York Times best seller. I AM. Say the things you want as though they are. God did and look what happened! Humans!

I took a step of faith last year and submitted a poem to one of the largest and most well-known magazines to the writing world. I didn’t do it to win. I did it to overcome a fear, to scrape off any insecurities, and to put my name out there. I stepped out in faith.

I told God when I rededicated my life to Him that I would be a living testimony of what He has done and is going to do in my life. I don’t share personal details because I want to share personal details. I share because someone else out there needs encouragement. It is through our testimonies that lives are changed and saved and with the first creative non-fiction novel I release (hopefully by the end of this year), I plan to accomplish just that. I have a greater testimony than what I’ve shared here. I’ve overcome sexual abuse, self-harm, addiction, self-hate, near-death experiences and so much more through God’s grace, mercy and love and He told me to share it with the world. Hello world.

I don’t know yet how successful I’m going to be at writing but if I write anything near the capability and excellence I have at running a cash register, I at least know I’ll have accomplished a goal and life-long dream. NEVER. STOP. DREAMING.

Matthew 19:26 (KJV)

But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.

My dream and what I am working towards is to eventually work from home full-time as an author/blogger/fulfilling ministry goals. I’ve been praying and talking to God a lot about this. I know I’ve been that annoying kid in God’s back seat screaming, “Are we there yet?” and He has been patient, giving me the look in the rear-view mirror as He white knuckles the steering wheel.

This morning I was thanking Him for it. You know, believe in something and act like you already have it? So I’m acting like I already have it. I’m thanking God for it because I know that time is coming. I’m picturing it in my head. I’m taking steps towards the goal. I’m imagining every morning what it is going to be like to wake up and work from home. I’m visualizing my day.

Today as I was doing this, I heard a little voice say, “Write down what your typical day working from home looks like.” Huh? Interesting. I began picturing a daily schedule in my head of what that looked like. I kept hearing that voice every 30 minutes or so say the same thing, “Write down what your typical day working from home looks like.”

Finally, I started to create a schedule. I began filling in time slots starting at 6am. When my husband reads this, he’s going to laugh at the fact that I said 6am. I struggle to pour myself off the mattress at 6:30 right now. He’s already started breakfast by then and I come staggering in half asleep to pick up in the middle of it.

As I began typing this out I realized I had to make some adjustments. I’ve had these thoughts about working from home and all the time I would have to read my Bible and pray because I find myself too often justifying to myself that I don’t have as much time as I would like for those kind of things.

So I typed it out and stared at it:

Then I heard a voice say, “Now type up what your typical day currently looks like.” Hmm. Okay. So I started typing that up and it looks like this:

I started looking at both of these and although I don’t like where I’m currently at because I feel like I have to cram so much into my day and still do not feel accomplished, I didn’t like what I thought my day should look like once I had it on paper either.

Time to make adjustments. I realized I haven’t prayed about what my day should look like to be the most effective I can be. I haven’t sought God in that matter. To seek God. The word seek according to Merriam-Webster means:

1. to resort to: go to
2. to go in search of: look for
3. to try to discover
4. to try to acquire or gain: aim at
5. to make an attempt: try

So I asked God, “What should my day look like”. He said I had a good start and I heard that still, small voice say, “What things on your list could you start implementing now?” In other words, try now.

Well, the first thing I could do is get my butt out of bed at 6am, if we are being honest about it. As long as we are being honest, I glean as much sleep time as I can right now because I don’t feel motivated to get out of bed. I don’t feel motivated to get up and work a day job but I do it anyways because the bills won’t pay themselves!

I’ve been like a little kid stomping their foot because they don’t have things their way. I want to write all day long. In order to do that, I have to start acting like I am. That begins with getting out of bed at 6am instead of 6:30 and starting my day off the way I see it starting when I am able to write full-time.

Sometimes truth hurts.

Next, I can rearrange some time outside of my regular working hours to fit in the things that I want to do.

There is actually a lot more I could be doing now.

God knows this. God is showing me this. God is letting me know to be faithful in what I have now so He can bless me going forward. Wow. He tells us, shows us and instructs us. All we have to do, is do it. Sometimes being a human is hard work.

I still have some praying and rearranging to do but tomorrow morning is a new day and a fresh opportunity to try. The best is yet to come. Great days are ahead. I already have the victory. With God on my side, who can come against me? Just myself. Getting myself out of the way.

Proverbs 3:6 (KJV)

In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths