God is not a bus station. What do I mean by that?
The past week and a half I have been hustling to clear out our spare room and get my home office set up. It’s 97% done. There was already a desk in there and all the supplies I needed but so were boxes that contained over 20 years worth of papers. Yes, I know.
If you have followed along in my blog, you will remember back in January I came across another blogger who had an article about cleaning out your entire house in 40 days by dividing your house into 40 areas and striving to take a bag a day out of the house (recycle/donate/trash).
I combined this with the KonMari method where you pick up each object up, every single one, and ask yourself if it brings you joy. If it doesn’t bring you joy or drudges up painful memories, you get rid of it. You would be amazed at how many things you hang on to that do not have pleasant memories.
I went the extra mile and incorporated the idea of minimalism. Not an extreme form of it where our house now looks like a museum but to the point where were we now only have 4 dinner plates. There are two of us. Why do we need 8 plates? The benefit of this, less dirty dishes on a regular basis.
Do you know I had THREE ironing boards? I don’t even iron! The dryer doubles as my “ironing machine.” My husband irons so I was nice and kept the full size ironing board.
So, I have made my way all through the house including the garage. The last on the list was the spare room which I had divided out into 4 days. All of this should have been done by the end of February. Well…
The spare room was daunting. Once I started on it, I realized there were boxes that had moved with me since I was in elementary school. I’ve moved around a lot.
Things were just put in boxes and left there and by the time I would get around to having time to go through them, I would move again. It was amazing what I came across but also amazing at how much longer it took than originally planned.
- There was more than I thought there was to go through
- Some memories were painful and healing took place that I didn’t know I needed
God is the one who had put it in my heart to get the house cleaned out. God is the one who knew what I needed healing for and how I was going to get it.
April 14th was my last day at my last place of employment. The company is closing down as the owner takes early retirement. I have had the opportunity since then to finish up the spare room and today, it is 97% finished. I have one last box of papers to go through and then some organizing to finish up.
The home office, it’s ready and as of last Friday evening, I have been working in it on my personal writing projects. It brings a smile to my face every time I sit down there in that crooked, no fluff, office chair. I have my cork board up on the wall and yesterday I was able to hang my dry erase board. I still need a few purple pieces of artwork and it will be complete.
What does all of this have to do with God not being a bus stop?
I have been praying and believing for the opportunity to work from home. Ideally, I want to write full time. I don’t know how to make our bills understand this however.
The last time I was laid off I had secured another position in less than 24 hours. I give God all the glory for that.
This time, each opportunity I look at, I hear God say, “Wait.”
What? Why? God, I am able to work and we need income. What am I waiting on? I know our steps are ordered. I know God has a plan. I know we just have to walk in it. There is a reason I had to get the entire house cleaned out of old things. There is a reason He told me to get the home office set up. There is a reason for everything He has put in my heart to do.
Some of those things I have slacked on. I didn’t complete the task at the appointed time. Even so, He is faithful. When the task at hand is complete, He reveals the next.
His plan isn’t like a bus stop where buses come and go all day long. If you miss one, you can catch another. There aren’t multiple destinations either.
I’ve had to complete each step of this process in full before the next is revealed. I’ve had to walk it out in faith without knowing exactly where He is leading me. He reminded me of Abraham and Isaac and I continue to meditate on that story.
All I can think is Abraham had to have the knife raised before God revealed His plan.
I know God to be faithful. I know God to be our provider. I know God to never leave us, never forsake us. I know in all of this, there will be a greater testimony than I can even imagine right now.
I don’t want to use the word struggle, but each day I have to fight the thoughts of the enemy whispered in my ear that we are going to be living in lack, I won’t find a job, I won’t have an income or if I do it won’t be enough, that there is no plan and I’m wasting time…
You get the point.
Those thoughts come at me each day and I have to stand on the Word. I have to speak, out loud, His promises. I have to remind myself daily of the God I serve. I have to keep my eyes on the dreams and goals I have. I have to continue to thank God for the provision He brings each and every day and the plan He has before us even though we don’t know specifically what it is.
I have to trust that even if comes down to the very last moment, knife raised, God has a plan.
Sometimes, the hardest lesson to learn, is waiting on God. But oh! The testimony of those who know how to wait on the Lord.
Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?
Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.